Posts Tagged ‘fun’

Of Brilliance and Mediocrity

(April 29th, 2010)

Dear amazing teacher-filled Planet Earth,

Imagine: coming into English one day expecting a rather dull discussion on the usage of a semi-colon and realizing that by the end of the class period, all the students have their cell phones out marveling at the outline of a dead body under a rug. Well, that’s exactly how the scenario played out today! My English teacher pondered over what to make out of a slightly used pair of sweatpants left over from another class period. Before you know it there is a group of high-schoolers helping her stuff the pant-legs with construction paper and creating a crime scene in the middle of the classroom floor. These quirky mannerisms are what make this year so captivating.  Everyone’s had that teacher who has created some wild, unforgettable moment to shatter that absurd boring aspect of education. There is an amazing, unique person that always adds light to the confines of the dull cement block walls or the painstakingly over-original shade of slumber brown reflecting off of the bulletin boards. I’m talking about the person who really captures a vivid environment for their students by hanging random paper mache molds of ham, a giant sculpture of a green egg from the book by Dr. Seuss, a festival of lights from the dry-erase board or a small stuffed pair of toddler jeans disguised as a flower planter and referred to as “the half girl”. I’m talking about the teacher who will make every occasion count by bringing in an enormous glowing elephant lawn decoration during the week before winter break and set it up with a group while one classmate reads from the instructions, the one who puts up a Youtube video of a blazing fireplace on the overhead projector and dims the lights when the temperature in the room is cold. This is the teacher who adds random images of dopey-looking horses or adorable squirrels on intermittent slide shows to loosen the scene or cut out a shape of a duck from paper after she asks you to blurt out any animal from the top of your head. I hope I’m not gloating by saying that my English teacher is among some of the most wacky of all the figureheads at my school. I don’t want to spread the idea that nothing work-related gets accomplished. Instead, my teacher just makes it an enjoyable experience. Before assigning a five-paragraph essay, my teacher once acted out a skit based on the television show, CSI. She blows away the previous definition that school is a place solely of study and learning and makes every day memorable.

By the way, Connor recently had his entry accepted on GraphJam, a downright hilarious website full of charts, diagrams, and of course, graphs. I recommend that you check it out, he would really appreciate more viewers! Anyway, click here to see it.

Don’t You Just Hate That? – Sneezing

Bang! Pow! Kaboom!
You tap the buttons on your video game controller repeatedly. You just have to defeat this one last enemy to beat the entire game. The lights in the room are turned way down low, the blinds are completely down, blocking out any little bits of sunshine that just want to crawl in the room. Time goes by quickly. It is already your fifth time trying at this monster and you haven’t realized that you had just wasted three hours that your mother said you should use to get ready for the picnic with your relatives who are coming over in three minutes.
Mom walks in, taps your shoulder and tells you to come out from your little dark cave and freshen up for the guests. You weakly get up; your feet are already falling asleep. A car honks outside; it’s your relatives and you haven’t seen them in months. You walk over towards the door. The sun is blazing down on you, not a cloud in the sky. You don’t realize exactly how bright it is until you make it out the door.
You feel the slightest tickle in the back of your nose. It grows and grows and you start to feel it is getting harder and harder to breathe. Right when your Uncle Eugene sticks out his hand to greet you, that little irritation blows up right then and there.
You explode into a orchestra of sneezes. One after another, that little tickle drops bombs of mucus and saliva out of the opening in your mouth, as if it had the power to blow up an entire building. Well, not exactly that kind of power. You wouldn’t go on an airplane and say, “Nobody move! Don’t make me use my all-powerful sneeze and blow this plane to bits of pieces!” But don’t you just hate that? And right in front of a whole festival of people!  They repeat “Bless you!” after each bomb explodes from the back of your throat. You are at the point where you are suffocating and bending down on the grass outside trying to get the last sneeze out. It’s as if you are having a mental breakdown, kneeling down with hands in the grass, just sneezing into the Earth and yelling, “MAKE IT STOP!!! ACHOOOO!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!” Well, maybe sneezes aren’t that dramatic, but that is exactly what is going on in your head when the sneezes attack. You might have to make a mental note not to jump into the sunlight that quickly next time.

Did You Know?
1. Sneezing can also be caused by sexual arousal, thinking of sex, and having an orgasm.
If you have a rare genetic disorder called “Snatiation”, you’ll sneeze after eating a big meal.
It’s against the law to sneeze in a church in Nebraska, USA.


Edited By Mark Savin