Archive for February, 2010

Relax

(February 16th, 2010)

Dear Planet Earth,

The far-away state of relaxation is one that is strived for by many.
In such a world where trecherous grey clouds haunt the sky like ghosts for hours
Where the dirty, mossy color of snow is spilt across the sidewalks and streets, pushed around by smog-expelling SUV’s and trucks.
Where nature just doesn’t make things turn out the way you want them to. When piles of mess push you back as you attempt to cross the sidewalk.
What’s the point of avoiding the outdoors? Since when has nature ever been a problem in our lives. The wild rabbits, deer, and other creatures deal with its severity, from strong winds to tempermental downpours of rain, why have humans just grown to go against it? We supply ourselves with soft, smooth, comforting homes to flee from the power of nature. We turn large ceder trees into chairs and tables to adjust to our so called “human-ness”. We are happy… but are we really?
I mean, inside such buildings the same sources of threat from outdoors  flow indirectly into mental and physical pain of being indoors.
Lack of sunlight, headaches and nausea from overuse of computers, iPods, and televisions. There is no safe place, it seems.
Stuck inside a power-ridden house after a thunderstorm crashes through the air. Trapped inside a hidden jail. Where is a safe place now?
Where can I go for relaxation?
Beach- in our minds we see the pleasently structured sand, the endless waves, and eternal sunlight. Heading towards the nearest beach is a trash-contaminated nightmare. The grinding of sand against your tired feet. After the water, any part of the beach sticks with you as you depart. Real and ideal collide, forming a cluster of mixed messages.
So where is relaxation exactly? Over there? Over here? Well, it could be anywhere if you set your mind to it.

Where Is The Love?

(February 11th, 2010)

Dearest Planet Earth, with your many love-struck, little birds,

It’s the week before Valentines Day, and yes, I am feeling a lack of love in my life. All around me people are recieving special flowers from their lovers at school. All around me people are going about their daily love-making sessions in the hallway. I guess I could use the excuse that this event is a great distraction from my schoolwork, but that would make me sound like a hateful soul whose purpose is to break up any bit of happiness in others. It isn’t that I am jealous; I just don’t know how to express my feelings about such a subject. Luckily Valentines Day falls during the weekend this year, so I won’t have to put up with as much of the “holiday spirit”. Just to put it out there, what is the point of this holiday? It seems that its only purpose is to raise the ones connected by a bond of love, while smashing the rest in the dirt below. Year after year, I reflect back upon who cares about me and who I consider to be close at heart and I realize that there really hasn’t been anyone out there for me at school. I sit alone at lunch, I sit alone in the morning on the cold, filthy carpet floor hoping for someone to show up to sit by me. It’s tough. It really is tough to go through a day of classes without having anyone to express feelings with. We talked about conformity and Transcendentalism in English class today: about how hard it is for one to go against the grain of society, which I feel like I am pursuing every day. Emerson says, “For nonconformity the world whips you with its displeasure. The man must know how to estimate a sour face. The by-standers look askance on him in the public street.” Sitting at lunch, I felt looked down upon by the peers around me. I felt like a disgrace to be at the long lunch tables since a group of friends who were planning to sit where I was gave me such a sour look.  I really don’t want to have Connor as a person I rely on. He isn’t there for me when I actually need it, which is why I need to find someone who will care for me that I see every day in real life. Of course, going through every day alone gives me something special that many others do not: the ability to think for myself. I develop my own beliefs and causes at school which make me stand out as a unique character. Emerson continues by saying, “The great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.” As I continue to battle the common day’s conflicts, I remain strong and continue uninfluenced by the harsh tone of my surroundings.

When asked about what I will be planning to do on this upcoming holiday, all I have to say to respond is that I will do as I normally do any other day. I might even hang up some banners for Presidents Day to celebrate the 15th. After browsing the many exotic weblogs on WordPress, I have located one that demonstrates my feelings about such a “Valentines Day” that our society has grown to adopt. Click Here.

 

Preparation

(February 5th, 2010)

Dear Planet Earth,

I’ve been so jealous of Connor this whole week since he’s been given the advantage to miss school for a couple of days while his “snowfall” clears up. I feel like I need that time to relax and be care-free again. Recently I’ve started to go to a preparation class for the ACT and SAT on Thursdays. I took a practice test last week for English. I felt like I did pretty well on the grammar section but not as well on the reading. I’m just not that great at reading under a strict time limit. Of course, I have started to read a bit more recently, but I like to take it slow so that I understand everything to my greatest ability. Why must reading be so radically adjusted for exams? I really wonder when in my life my boss is going to give me a sheet of paper to read in eight minutes and then answer a whole assortment of questions based on what I remember. I didn’t even get to the last reading of the test since I was still trying to figure out my answers for the other three. Luckily there are other factors in determining whether I am worthy of getting into a certain college rather than just testing. Anyway, I’ll have to continue it for the next couple of weeks before the test starts. I have been getting rides to school from a cab. My mom repetitively asks me to ask someone for a ride, but I’m just not that social. It really would take a great effort for me to ask. I had attempted to bring the topic up in computer science to someone in the same class as me, but someone else in the class turned it into a joke and then I just decided to never bring it up again.

Tutoring was a blast on Friday. I had an opportunity to actually teach someone a little something about Mathematics. Every tutoring session is completely up to the chance of the draw; I was so excited when the luck of the draw went to me. There was a student who came in (most likely a sophomore) who needed help with Advanced Algebra. I kindly accepted the challenge and asked the boy what he needed help with. To my surprise, he had told me that he wanted to look ahead at future chapters in his textbook that he had not gone over yet in class. I was a little skeptical that this would turn out well, but it ended up being a blast. I was finally given the opportunity to teach this over-achiever something new! I covered several random chapters that he had flipped through in the book at random and taught him everything he needed to know on the subject. I felt so honored to be giving out knowledge instead of just helping a student master a topic.