Don’t You Just Hate That? – Sneezing

Bang! Pow! Kaboom!
You tap the buttons on your video game controller repeatedly. You just have to defeat this one last enemy to beat the entire game. The lights in the room are turned way down low, the blinds are completely down, blocking out any little bits of sunshine that just want to crawl in the room. Time goes by quickly. It is already your fifth time trying at this monster and you haven’t realized that you had just wasted three hours that your mother said you should use to get ready for the picnic with your relatives who are coming over in three minutes.
Mom walks in, taps your shoulder and tells you to come out from your little dark cave and freshen up for the guests. You weakly get up; your feet are already falling asleep. A car honks outside; it’s your relatives and you haven’t seen them in months. You walk over towards the door. The sun is blazing down on you, not a cloud in the sky. You don’t realize exactly how bright it is until you make it out the door.
You feel the slightest tickle in the back of your nose. It grows and grows and you start to feel it is getting harder and harder to breathe. Right when your Uncle Eugene sticks out his hand to greet you, that little irritation blows up right then and there.
You explode into a orchestra of sneezes. One after another, that little tickle drops bombs of mucus and saliva out of the opening in your mouth, as if it had the power to blow up an entire building. Well, not exactly that kind of power. You wouldn’t go on an airplane and say, “Nobody move! Don’t make me use my all-powerful sneeze and blow this plane to bits of pieces!” But don’t you just hate that? And right in front of a whole festival of people!  They repeat “Bless you!” after each bomb explodes from the back of your throat. You are at the point where you are suffocating and bending down on the grass outside trying to get the last sneeze out. It’s as if you are having a mental breakdown, kneeling down with hands in the grass, just sneezing into the Earth and yelling, “MAKE IT STOP!!! ACHOOOO!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!” Well, maybe sneezes aren’t that dramatic, but that is exactly what is going on in your head when the sneezes attack. You might have to make a mental note not to jump into the sunlight that quickly next time.

Did You Know?
1. Sneezing can also be caused by sexual arousal, thinking of sex, and having an orgasm.
If you have a rare genetic disorder called “Snatiation”, you’ll sneeze after eating a big meal.
It’s against the law to sneeze in a church in Nebraska, USA.


Edited By Mark Savin


2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Topwater28 on August 27, 2009 at 4:21 pm

    Hey…whats ur new blog about….no more cp? hey try to send me an email….im not gonna say it on this comment but i think theres a way u can click on “all comments” or somthing….yeah so try to send me one 🙂

  2. ha ha, i love my kitties.

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