Archive for April, 2009

Profanityville

A Collaborate Post
By Clonez and Connor

Because adults do not want children to be raised to start swearing at a young age,
the content in cartoons is replaced with symbols rather than “bad words”,
It is not only safer for kids, it is also a lot more fun to watch!

No matter what type of environment you grow up in, a person will always be under the influence of a swear word. It is a seemingly impossible thing to avoid in this day and age with hundreds of swears muttered every second on the planet. Remember when you were in kindergarten and the teachers always told you to be polite? They would always to tell you that you should never call anyone in the classroom “weird” or “stupid”. This little lesson, they hoped, would help you grow up profanity free and become a polite adult. As you can see, this never worked out for you. In fact, it probably hasn’t worked out for any of the other five year old’s in your class. There is always some outside influence that will get you on the track to saying these “bad words”. You might hear an older sibling say it. Of course, children are curious to find and explore new things, and so you walk (or crawl) up to Bob your big brother and ask, “what does that mean?” I remember doing that when I was little. Seeing my parents reactions when I said my first swear was a pretty gruesome sight. Their eyes grew large, their mouth’s dropped down in fright, and of course, they did become very angry with me.

The first time I (Connor) said a swear in the presence of my family wasn’t all that glamorous either, if I do say so. Two summers ago, I moved into the house I am currently residing in. We moved to North Carolina before our house was actually ready to live in. Because of that, my family was staying in a hotel; my sister and I had to share a room, while my parents were in the other room. So that means that my sister and I had to share a bathroom… and toilet… and worst of all shower! So late one night (which is when I shower, helps get me ready for bed) I was showering, and my sister was pounding at the door because she wanted to brush her teeth. As if she couldn’t wait ten minutes. Anyway, I started to become fed up with her and so I exited the shower, wrapped a towel around me, opened the door, and said NO and slammed the door. Of course I was agitated, so I called her a b*tch as I was closing the door. I had a wonderful shower after that. But when I got out and dressed, my parents wanted to see me. They. Were. Mad. My sister ratted me out.

At a younger age, we sometimes try and hide our swears by replacing it with words that sound like the equivalent. One of the most popular swears that people say, “Jesus!”, is usually spoken when someone is angry about something. It may not be one of the worst in the set of vocabulary, but it is covered up many times by “Jeez!” There are plenty of others ones that people can make up. Me and Connor always say “fork” instead of “f*ck.” How do they start? They really just develop by the individual; most of the replacements aren’t from outside sources. We both just wanted a funny replacement that can satisfy our need to swear. It really has caught on, and we still continue to say it daily.

On the other hand, I’ve never enjoyed hearing any kind of swearing myself. I’ve always used the excuse that my religion was the reason I never said a bad word. People usually made fun of that. They would come up to be and say something like, “Why can’t you swear?” and religion would be my answer to them. In fact in Judaism,  it says that followers of the belief should try and understand that words can hurt and heal at the same time, and that  people should try and be morally good people by only using words to heal. To me swearing, in a way, is like cheating in the English language. Instead of getting the message you want people to hear, you replace it with a swear word, hoping that would solve you problem of finding the right words to say. There is a much greater message heard in a person who uses the correct descriptive language. People will not only understand what you are trying to convey, they will also have more respect for you, and see that you are a polite, educated human being. See the difference in this scenario:

Your best friend Harold drops your very elaborate diorama of the Mount Rushmore on the floor of the school. It shatters into little pieces as it hits the tiles. You are very upset with him, because you just spent five days working on it non-stop.

Profanity Peter says, “You motherf*cking son of a b*tch! f*ck you *sshole!”

Polite Peter says, “My anger in you is like the burning flames of an intense forest fire; out of control and sweeping over the surface of the Earth, building up strength with it’s deep hatred.”

Not only does Polite Pete convey his message towards clumsy Harold, he isn’t given any punishment from the teachers for swearing in front of a student. Of course, many people can not come up with very detailed sentences, but that is the magic of using descriptive language, it gets better the more you practice with it. Any person could just start out just like this:

Polite Peter says, “I’m very mad at you!”

It is very important to get into the habit of not using swear words in everyday sentences. There are two major different sets of vocabulary that people use in their everyday lives. They have the vocabulary they use to talk to friend. This language you are free to swear in without getting in trouble. Unfortunately, this language usually diminishes away as you get older, because people expect more from you. You really wouldn’t see an old lady in a retirement home say anything like this:

Joe Buddy says, “yo, sup man. Hows it goin? Jeez I feel like sh*t today.”

and then they have the vocabulary they use to talk to people of higher authority such as a teacher, a coworker, a boss, or a parent. The point is, that this language literally becomes your only language when you get older. If you were to use any kind of profanity in everyday speech to one of these people, there are consequences involved. Getting in the habit of swearing is like getting in the habit of abusing drugs. It later gets you into a lower position in life because elder figures do not take you seriously with such a foul language. For example, there is a medical condition known as Tourette’s. If you start to swear too much, soon enough your swearing is going to become uncontrollable. When this happens, it becomes a tic, which makes it so that you can not stop swearing. Controlling your speech is a good thing. It might not turn out to be completely perfect like:

John Doe says, “Hello Sir, it is good to see you again on such a lovely day.”

But fixing up your verbal language is key to being very successful. So like I said, swearing is like cheating in the English language. Just like cheating, swearing is never a way to learn any lessons about life. Of course, there should be a line drawn to indicate what kind of swearing is tolerable. Sometimes, swearing is a way to get out your anger. It is like one of those stress balls that you squeeze when you are upset about something. If you are going to swear, let it be in private, like in a bedroom. It will help release anger in a safe way that will not harm others. Of course, there are other safer ways to let it out, but if swearing works for you, let it be your cure for anger. This kind of swearing is known as Cathartic Swearing. It can also occur when something really painful happens to you, like stubbing your toe on a corner, I know that happens to me all the time and I just break out into swearing. It could be like spilling some really hot coffee onto yourself. You really can not control your speech in such a time of pain. It just happens, so let it be released. So scream it out to the heavens, “Aww, f*ck!, D*mn this coffee!”

Probably the worst kind of swearing out there is abusive swearing. Abusing swearing is the most hurtful and the most severe. It can cause depression, withdrawal, anxiety, fearfulness and low self esteem and it affects every age group. Abusive swearing should not be tolerated at all. If you are caught using abusive swearing to anyone, not matter the type of group, there are severe consequences involved. You could be grounded at home, suspended at school, and fired at work, and possibly jailed if it continues to harm others. This type of swearing is definitely one that a person should not fool around with.

Personally, my (Connor’s) least favorite and least hawt type of profanity is called Idiomatic Swearing. This type is voluntary, and so easy, both to say, and not to say. First off, Idiomatic Swearing is when you just say a bad word for no reason. Or, you may be just choosing words to interest you or others around you. You could also be showing off that dirty mouth of yours to your friends. I hate when people use this type of profanity because it is just so stupid and uncomfortable for me to listen to. For example, on my bus there are sixth, seventh, and eighth graders . All the little sixth graders think they’re so cool saying f*ck in every sentence. It makes me so uncomfortable to listen to them, because the wild thing is they say f*ck twice in every sentence, and I probably say it only once a week. I wish I could just wash their mouths out with soap like my parents always threatened to do. Oh well. They’re the ones looking like losers, not me. But still.

Another type of swearing is called Emphatic Swearing, and it’s the one I (Connor) actually use the most. (I know, I know, I’m a bad human being.) Emphatic Swearing is when you use profanity to stress an idea or word(s). For example, you would use Emphatic Swearing if you were trying to convey just how big someone’s waist line was. It would be something like “Wow, did you see how f***ing fat that guy was? I didn’t even see his d**n small thing pressed against his pants.” Sometimes, it just slips out of my mouth. Sometimes, it’s the only way I can express my feelings. I suppose I should start controlling my language like Clonez mentioned earlier.

Whether “your” type of swearing is idiomatic, abusive, cathartic, or emphatic, you should try keeping use to the minimum, because many people don’t like bad words, and would rather hear clear, descriptive language instead. Not only does descriptive language make you sound polite and educated, but it helps you in the long run more so than cheating by cursing. Sometimes, you can’t help but swear, and as you know, everything in moderation. That’s the key. And if there’s one thing you… close the browser with today, it’s that symbols instead of letters pwn.

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